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"though she be but little, she is fierce" -A Midsummer Night's Dream

Posts tagged rant

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Caution: Rant Ahead (why I was angry today - a revelation from Regina George)

First, an introduction:

There are sorority girls, and then there are sorority girls. That is to say, there are girls who happen to be in sororities, but are also actual people (I know several who are kind and lovely) and then there are Lifetime movie-esque mean and/or vapid and/or satanic sorority girls. Fictional, right? Or, if not, the sorority backdrop is surely an unfortunately perpetuated stereotype attributed to that type of girl, right?

But then again, stereotypes come from somewhere…

So. I was in a play last year with a group of girls who give these stereotypes credence. I will not name names because (a) this is the internet, even if it’s my tumblr and I never think anyone is reading it, but still - internet and (b) I may be bitter and upset and frustrated, but I do not drag people’s names through the mud. Unlike - well yeah, these girls. One in particular, who will continue to remain nameless but we’ll call her Regina George for right now. 

Needless to say, I do not look back on this particular theatrical experience very fondly. I was lonely because I did not fit in, nor did I want to fit in, with these people I was forced to spend so much time with. Even if I sometimes don’t get along with people as friends I can sometimes respect them as artists and hard workers but no - they rehearsed AND performed drunk, with a big old bottle of wine backstage.

And then there was the gay thing. Me being bisexual, and them treating it like the plague. They, most frequently our dear Regina George, asked questions like “but how can two girls date when one is always going to be obviously hotter than the other one? They made comments like “I don’t buy…bi. Sorry, I just think you’re one or the other, you know?” I kid you not. I tried to explain things gently from my point of view but refrained from angry tirades because either way, I’d have to spend hours of rehearsal with them and the awkward that already was would just get worse if I had to be soapbox girl all the time. So I took it in stride and complained to my friends later about what I was putting up with. 

And then there was the other gay thing. One of these girls was playing a guy who gets in an affair with Regina George - so, two girls kissing. This was what first prompted the wine-drinking. “But we have to drink to do this,” explained Regina George. Now that they were safely drunk during the girl-kissing, they advertised it to market the show “REGINA GEORGE AND OTHER SORORITY GIRL ARE TOTALLY MAKING OUT IN THIS SHOW! SO HOTTTT GO SEE ITT” all on facebook and other online gossip forums catered to the school. People were talking about how hot it would be and sure, it was fine aesthetically but they had reduced it from relevant to the play to your typical Friday-night-frat-party drunken straight girl makeout to impress the guys. Not so hot to me. My character had to break it up. I joked about the irony of it and that I didn’t want the audience to hate me for it hahaha but really, didn’t bother me. 

So this play was a year ago. What’s the big problem today??? Well here it finally is:

I got lunch with a friend, M, today and we talk theatre often so he brought up this play and mentioned that he was recently discussing it with Regina George. M said it was really hot and I was like ehh, not my favorite time. M goes yeah, Regina George said ‘that I was so into her and that I “came onto all of the girls in the cast during the show,” and I would go backstage totally naked and try to get with them.’

WHAT???

On an um-back-up-your-facts-please level, I didn’t have any costume changes in this show, so I was never changing backstage. So unless I just decided to show up naked that day…HUH?? Second of all, I NEVER came onto any of them, not even in a misinterpreting way. I wasn’t attracted to any of them physically and even less so in anything else (see Lifetime sorority description above - big turnoff for me). I thought Regina George was pretty, sure, but once she opened her mouth, any aesthetic appeal she had was pretty much zapped. I barely talked to them unless I had to, so unless she took my obviously sarcastic joke about oh-no-I-don’t-want-to-stop-the-kiss-lol thing seriously (and if that’s the case HOW THICK ARE YOU, REGINA GEORGE???) then I barely had time to even say anything that could possibly be twisted, so it’s just an outright lie here.

ALSO, and this is probably my biggest frustration, even if I was into any of them, which I wasn’t, I don’t go around hitting on people!!!! Yes, I’m bisexual. No, I’m not attracted to everything with a pulse. Yes, Ithink a lot of people are pretty. No, I don’t want to date, or even sleep with every pretty person I meet. Another no, I don’t ‘come on’ to people in general! Especially not straight girls who I don’t even like or want and for the most part don’t even find that pretty! And I don’t like calling people even ‘not pretty,’ you know? Just as a general thing, I don’t like to criticize people’s looks. But here I can’t help thinking: How full of yourself can you possibly be??? NOT EVERYONE THINKS YOU’RE HOT/WANTS TO TAP THAT SO GET. OVER. IT. PLEASE.

I was briefly worried about who else Regina George spread this around to, but I’m calm now and know that anyone who knows me would laugh at how false that was and how deluded she is. Just, come on. I’m usually thankful to be among theatre people, believing that they’re LGBT friendly by necessity of the culture, but the stupid homophobia persists. And I hate that stereotype so much! I’ve known it to be particularly bad for bisexuals but it exists and sucks too for gay guys and lesbians (the idea that gay guys will hit on every male no matter what and lesbians will hit on every female no matter what). We are all people here!!! Why can’t everyone see that?

Regina George, you’re reducing me to a shallow stereotype. I don’t appreciate it one bit and I’m trying to do so back to you. Calling you Regina George first of all, and helping delineate your posse as Lifetime stock bitch characters - yeah, it feels nice and fair on a superficial ranty level, but really…I just wonder why. Why would you think this? Did you even really think it or are you just using my identity against me as petty gossip for other people? Are you insecure and this is just you trying to remind yourself and others of how “hot” you are? (PS that wasn’t me calling you hot and coming on to you by the way, hence the quotation marks!!!). For your sake and others, I hope you work out whatever personal issues you have and evolve past this:

And hopefully, Regina George-who-isn’t-really-Regina-George, it doesn’t take you being hit by a bus to do that.

See? I’m nice!

Filed under LGBT LGBTQ Lifetime Mean Girls Regina George bisexual bisexuality lesbian rant rumors stereotypes acting theatre sorority girls

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OCD Problem:

I just Memory Laned my way through my entire history of tumblr and although other people are like REBLOG EVERY TIME/NEVER STOP REBLOGGING about certain posts, I have a thing where I can only post the same thing once. Even if it’s a reblog, I don’t like having repeats. I ended up deleting about four posts that I hadn’t realized had been twice. I hadn’t even meant to go through all of the 63 pages (I know to some people that’s like pssh only 63?? but like I said, I’m picky about posts and it took awhile to peruse), but when I saw a repeat I was suddenly very agitated. Oh no, I posted this twice? Well what if I did that for others? Better check…so I carefully went through all my posts and found four, of which I had to delete one of each pair, and even now I’m still slightly concerned that I missed one. I know it means nothing, but that’s me. Unfortunately, my OCD makes me stressed about numbers and doing things certain numbers of times and worried about impossible scenarios happening and random things like this. As opposed to the clean way, I mean. Not to downplay that, of course at all, I know it causes legitimate suffering and life difficulties for some people. Still, sometimes I can’t help being annoyed that I am so often plagued by the negatives of this disorder and never have a clean room. 

It’s okay though, I have my pills, they make things easier. And I know to disregard the Will Schusters of the planet who cite OCD as a damselly plight he must fix (see “Fix You”), or else as a reason to doubt this sickly sufferer has a chance at a lasting relationship, parenthood, or ultimate happiness. No, Glee doesn’t make me bitter. Okay, it does a little bit. Seriously though, I’m not going to turn this into a Glee rant now, but one thing I marveled in my tumblr journey back from the beginning is how many happy Glee posts I had way back when (like YES! Jane Lynch won the Emmy! and AHHH Faberry moment!) and then hopeful, but semi-frustrated ones (Brittana is on! dammit RIB THAT WAS YOUR Season two ending???) and I have lost faith in that show now. The Will/Emma thing wasn’t the only thing, it’s not a big enough part of the show anymore to be the only thing, but it was a recent standout. They’ve gone from aiming to break down stereotypes and speaking against superficial and misinformed judgment of others to actually perpetuating these very things, and its sad. I still think Lea Michele’s voice is glorious, I still am madly in love with Dianna Agron, think Jane Lynch is a BAMF, that Hemo’s dancing is mesmerzingly sextastic, etc. etc. etc. but I think at this point, so many of them are better than the show, and I will not be sad to see them leave it, knowing they are capable of so much better. 

Filed under OCD Memory Lane tumblr reblogging random Glee rant Will Schuster Emma Pillsbury Lea Michele Dianna Agron Heather Morris Jane Lynch

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Some people…

Today in my literature class we discussed Heartsick by Chelsea Cain. It’s the first book in a series in which a detective Archie Sheridan had been tracking gorgeous but deadly serial killer Gretchen Lowell for years. She ultimately caught him first and tortured him horribly for ten days before mysteriously letting him free and turning herself in. Archie is left addicted to painkillers, totally traumatized from the experience and still hopelessly drawn to Gretchen, continuing to visit her in prison every Sunday, clearly a sufferer of Stockholm Syndrome. I wasn’t compelled to write this post to discuss the book. I found it interesting and terrifying, yes, fun in a horrible sort of way, but the thing that makes me desperate for a rant is my class discussion.

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Filed under Heartsick Chelsea Cain RANT